The Giant Beach Bag!

This is mostly for my mom again, who is my biggest fan! :)

I finally finished my beach bag for Florida! I got the idea from Leanne over at Elle Apparel. She has an awesome tutorial on how to make a Canvas Beach Bag.  I mostly followed her tut, but I did my own thing.

         Please excuse my poor photography skills... I am by no means a professional!

   I used red burlap instead of canvas because I wanted it to really last and I lined the inside with matching     fabric because burlaps itchy!

And, I made mine HUMUNGOUS (I don't even know if that's how you spell it).. but, you get the point. It's HUGE! I wanted it to be really big to fit all of the stuff you have to bring when you have a toddler, plus all of our beach things. And, it ended up being extra, extra large! You can't tell in the picture, but I have 4 towels stuffed in there and there's room for A LOT more!

I have so many ideas for another bag and I can't wait to try them :)

Prayer Requests :)

So... I have a couple of prayer requests and I thought I'd quickly ask for people to pray for them before I lay down with the little man and take a MUCH NEEDED nap! :)

1. I applied for a new job within the hospital I already work in. The position is day shift M-F and no holidays. It would really be an answer to prayer if I get this job!

2. I've been looking at a duplex for rent in Edgerton. It's the same price we pay now for our small apartment in Madison, but it's bigger, has a yard, and washer and dryer hook-ups. Please pray that if it's God's will for us to move that we would be able to find a sub-letter.

3. Please, please pray that I won't get wrapped up in all this potential goodness and focus on God and His will for our family.

It's so hard for me to focus on what God wants for us when I continually focus on what I think our family needs. I have a hard time praying about things when I think I can control them myself... so I'm reaching out for some prayer help!

Thankful

I only have a little bit before B and I have a play date... but, I felt like writing something.

I'm so thankful today.

Thankful for my husband who knows how I'm feeling sometimes before even I do.
Thankful for this tiny, little boy who gives me hugs and kisses when I feel like everything I do is falling apart.
Thankful for a family that calls me five times a day just to say hello.
Thankful for a job that although I dislike passionately at times is flexible and allows me to spend a lot of time with my tiny helper.
Thankful for a sewing machine that I've grown so attached to.
Thankful for friends who I can go without talking to for weeks and we can pick up right where we left off.

Most of all, I'm thankful for a God who has blessed me with it all.

Even when the green-eyed jealousy monster stares me right in the face I can smile and know that even if we don't have this perfect little cookie cutter life, we are blessed beyond measure and have the perfect life for us.

Happy Tuesday!

Apron Tuturial

So, this post is mainly for my mamacita, but I wanted to blog about it because it makes me feel more "sewer-ish". Yup, just made that word up.

I had some of this fabric left over from another little project I did (a plastic bag holder... I know, glamorous). And, there's really not much I can do with it, because I don't like it enough to wear it as a dress, and it's cotton so it doesn't stretch as much as I like my clothes to. And so the apron idea was born.

What I used:
Approximately a yard of fabric (hard for me to give exact measurements since it was just folded it my fabric pile)
Matching thread
And, last but certainly not least, my sewing machine

I laid out the fabric (after I had ironed all the little crinkles out) and drew on the apron design (I think everyone knows what an apron looks like), then I cut it out, leaving about 1/2" all the way around for seam allowance.

                                                             Truly not hard at all.
I wanted the edges to look finished, so I folded the edges all the way around about 1/4", ironed them down so they would lay nicely, then I folded them another 1/4" and ironed again. Something like this:

Oh yes, I pinned it all in place so it would retain it's neatness.

After all the folding, ironing and pinning, I sewed this little beauty together. While doing that, I decided I wanted a little pocket in the front to break up the monotony and I wanted a little "V" in the neckline. If you want to do the same, you just need to cut a "V", fold and iron the edges the same way you did the apron and sew in place. Easy peasy. For the pocket, I just cut the shape out of some of the extra fabric, folded the edges, ironed and sewed the edges together.

                                     Something like that... and then I sewed it on!

 I thought it was hard to decipher where the pocket was since it's the same fabric so I stuck my big ugly, squished hand it it. So, excuse the grossness.

Once I was all done with the apron itself, I needed to make the strap that goes around the neck and also the straps that tie it together. To do this, I cut out one strip about 21" long 3" wide (for the neck) and two strips that were about 40" long and 3" wide. I don't have any pics doing this because my little, tiny helper was up from his nap and he required my attention. However, it's fairly simple.

For all three strips, fold the edges in about 1/4" twice (just like for the apron edges). Now, I left my neck strip alone after this because I wanted that strap to be thicker. For the apron straps, I folded them in half and sewed together so they would be thinnner.

And, Wah-Lah, you have an apron. This is pretty simple and I'm sure there's more intricate designs... but, now I have an apron and it was free! ;) The hubs laughed at me because anyone that knows me knows I'm a novice cook at best so why would I need an apron?! If anything, it looks cute hanging in my kitchen! :)   

Muslin, Jersey Knit, Canvas... and all things wonderfully crafty.

I have a weakness....

A gloriously sinful obsession...

And, it doesn't involve anything I could ever get in trouble for.

My love... my passion... is DIY (do-it-yourself for all you non-acronym knowing people).

The more my husband and I buckle down and actually stick to a budget, the more I want to make everything myself. I used to be a buyer. You know, I'd yearn for all the outfits on display at every single seducing, evil store. Now, I'm not saying that I don't go out and leap back into the arms of consumerism. Because let's face it, it's hard to say no to a dress that fits every single curve perfectly making me feel like the person that designed this marvelous creation obviously must of had me in mind.

And, then, it occurred to me: the designer CAN have me in mind. She can create a divine little number that slips over my shoulders and transports me into Jessica Alba's body. Yes, I just said that. So?

I'm sure you're smart enough to put it together now. My little dirty craft secret's out. I've become bewitched with "doing-it-myself". It all started with StumbleUpon. If you haven't discovered this little treasure, do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. It's possibly the most awesome thing invented for those you like to "surf the great-wide web". There's no shortage of amazing, awesomeness in everything you can discover when you "stumble".

Anyway, I chose to spend my time looking up things to make around the house. I've discovered a million and a half things I've added to my "to-do-within the next 10 years" list. And, that's what led me to fabric.com. This sight has entranced me with malicious little green eyes and drawn me in with $2.99 yd. jersey knits and $5.99/white canvas and a whole section devoted to $1.95/yd fabrics. It is crafter heaven. Seriously. And there's so, so, so much more than just fabrics. There's yarn and crafting supplies, trim.. you get the idea. It's like taking a bite out of fresh blueberry muffin that's loaded with butter (yes, I did say butter. I'm from Wisconsin and we like dairy). It's that satisfying feeling when you know you just scored an awesome deal and saved some money. Sweet.

So this little entry is devoted to the amazingly soft  feeling of jersey knits. The smell of canvas. The satisfaction of picking up a simple piece of fabric and making it into something beautiful. Something you created yourself.

So now I have a trillion projects I want to get done right this very second. But here's a few I really am going to start: The Swimsuit Cover-up... cannot resist it. I'm totally going to do my own thing... but, Elle Apparel is pretty much amazing and I love her blog. Plus, she also posted the tutorial for this: My Beach Bag. Which I'm totally making for our trip to Florida.

Alright, I've shared my craft obsession and my need to feed this "DIY-ing" hunger I suddenly have. Hopefully I'll be tackling my projects soon! I just bought all the fabric I need for them from fabric.com. So, I'll be starting them shortly!

A New Day

What to write... what to write...

It's quiet this morning. Wade's left for work and it's just me and the little man. I love this time of the morning... but, it's also when the anxiety about the day starts creeping into my blood and flowing to my brain. Making me think about everything I have to do, everything I should be doing, and suddenly an overwhelming sense of dread fills my body. There's just not enough time in the day to complete my never ending list of wife and mommy things I need to do.

Deep breath.

Depression. 

Depression is a serious medical illness that involves the brain. It's more than just a feeling of being 'down in the dumps' or 'blue' for a few days. If you are one of the more than 20 million people in the United States who have depression, the feelings do not go away. They persist and interfere with your everyday life. Symptoms can include:

• Sadness
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
• Change in weight
• Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping
• Energy loss
• Feelings of worthlessness
• Thoughts of death or suicide

Yes, I stole that from: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/depression.html

The hardest thing I've ever had to do in the world was look my husband in the eyes and tell him that I thought I was depressed. Why was it hard? Because he's my husband. The father of my child. How in the world can I be depressed when God has blessed me with so much? How can I be depressed when God has given me so much hope? How can a Christian woman, born and raised in a Christian family, be depressed? Isn't depression a selfish feeling? I remember a couple of years ago talking to a good friend about how her sister in law had started taking anti-depressants. My friends response was, "Our family doesn't take medication for depression. It's not natural." I think ever since talking to her about it, I've always thought, we don't take medication. It's taboo. I don't want to put my family through the embarressing ordeal of having a wife, mother, daughter, sister on medication. How scandalous!

Well, guess what?! I went to my doctor. And guess what else? He prescribed me a low dose of Zoloft. And, you'll never guess what happened next... I felt better! I took the medication for about 2 months and my doctor and I weaned myself off it and I am cured. Ok, so, you're never really "cured" from depression. I struggle every single day with it. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Zoloft helped me crawl out of my hole. It helped me with my crazy anxiety that still haunts me. It helped me realize that I still have God. That He never left me. That despite the fact that I felt like my world was spinning out of control, that I was losing my grip with reality, God was still beside me holding my hand, gently tugging at me to lean on Him.

It's easy to judge someone. It's easy to look down on someone. It takes a stronger person to admit when something's not right, that they need a little help to stand tall again. So, YES! I took an anti-depressant for anxiety and depression. And, I'm not ashamed (kind of sounds a little like an introduction to an A.A. meeting). Everyone needs a little help every once in a while... and if you think you don't, you're just too prideful to admit it.

You

Sometimes you can try and try and try and try to make the people around you happy. You can bend over backwards breaking every bone in your body trying to do everything physically possible to make everyone around you like you. You can shove your feelings back into the corner of your brain until you forget you ever felt them. You can change your personality (or try to). You can analyze everything you say, everything you write, everything you do to the very last detail. You can change your hair and your clothes to "fit in".

But, the truth is, the more you change yourself to fit someone else, the more you lose yourself. You can shove and suck in and nip and tuck and try to put yourself into a pre-molded box, but the fact is, you're probably going to lose an arm or an ear in the process. Can you live without your arm? Sure. You can live without your ear too... but, do you want to?

You can't make people like you. You can't change their opinions of you. You can't change what they think about you. So, GET OVER IT!

Not everyone is going to be your friend. Not everyone is going to want to spend every last waking second with you. Not everyone is going to be willing to see you when you roll out of bed. Or when you're sick and laying on the couch with snot dripping from your nose. You can't help that! It's out of your control... which is probably one of the hardest sentences anyone can swallow. So, I'll say it again just for the effect:
IT'S OUT OF YOUR CONTROL! Nothing you do is in your control. God is in control. He brings people into your life and out of your life.

I don't understand why God places certain people in my life... He certainly knows I think I could live without some of them. But, He has a purpose and a plan for everyone. We're not meant to know it. That's where faith comes in. We have to trust in God's decisions. As hard as that is... especially when you have a control issue (um, yes, I'm talking about myself).

You can't change yourself to fit someone else. That's why the people that accept you for who you are, love you depsite your mistakes, and tell you when your hair looks like crap (you know, in a loving way) are so incredibly special. Because they love you for you. They love YOU. And, that's more important than the people that don't.